Put Your Phone Down and Pay Attention

Do me a favor and take a good look around you. Look up and look around. Seriously, stop reading and observe the scene before you, if only for a few moments. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Are you sitting in that long, dull Thursday morning meeting? What about Friday night dinner with your husband/wife and kids? What do you see? Do you see that beautiful wife of yours dressed in those tight jeans you always loved? Is your husband on the living room floor building lego dinos with your 4-year-old? Is your daughter begging you to paint her nails or play go-fish?

I want to tell you guys a story—more of an experience or a moment of recognition. It was earlier this month. My husband and I had just arrived in Detroit after a long-awaited move back to the States from Germany.

It was our first Friday night in the area, and we were hungry. If there’s one thing we truly connect on, it’s our mutual love for food and exploring all the local eateries. During this particular night out, I found myself looking around, a lot. I guess I’m a “people-watcher,” I can’t help it.

I’m not ashamed to admit when another woman is beautiful. Enough with the unnecessary competition amongst us gals, already. It’s a cruel enough world without us judging each other for the silliest of things, but I digress.

A young couple walked in, and this woman was beautiful, absolutely stunning. She’d taken some time and effort in her appearance for the evening, and it showed. I was curious if this was their first, second, or third date. Maybe they were high school sweethearts married just after graduation.

Regardless, the man had his head down staring at, you guessed it, his cell phone. I wasn’t exactly surprised by his behavior. It’s the new—well, not so new—norm in America. I watched the woman hopelessly look for something to entertain her, and I started to feel a sense of empathy. She was bored and ignored. I wanted to shake him and tell him to pay attention.

At another table, a family of four sat all with their eyes locked on their cell screens, tapping and scrolling. It was a family night for this crew, and I wondered if they believed they were bonding. I imagined them riding home with full bellies sharing sentiments of a fun evening.

I guess I grew used to the European attitude on cell phone usage. Phones were away during dinner, and real conversations were happening. I forgot what it was like to see people ignoring each other with their eyes, minds, and hearts glued to these devices. I acknowledge as I write this—I am guilty of prioritizing my phone time over the people in my life and the things happening in front of me.

Why do I stalk my phone for the next grand notification? Why do I find these made-up, click-bate stories worthy of my precious time? Why do I scroll through so many Facebook status updates, Instagram stories, or Tweets from my favorite celebrities? Are these things more important than the living, breathing life that surrounds me?

Life is short and precious. It’s a gift we get to live. We get to live, guys. We get to see and touch the things we love most, breath the air around us, and feel all the textures in front of us.

Remember when I asked you to look up earlier? What did you see? Is life going on without you? Are your children staring at their electronic device? Let’s slow things down a bit. Take away those devices and spend real, quality time exploring the reality in front of us. Ask your spouse or significant other; mother or father; brother or sister; son or daughter; or whoever considers you worthy of their time how their day was? Hold their hand, hug them, look them in the eye, and most importantly put your phone down and pay attention.